It is obvious, you were not mistaken
- by Tojajin
- 2 comments
Hinduism is one of a few ancient religions to survive into modern times. Initially it did not have a specific religious connotation. The religious meaning of the term did not develop for roughly another years. Hinduism does not have a single holy book that guides religious practice. Instead, Hinduism has a large body of spiritual texts that guide devotees. The Vedas, considered to be realized revealed eternal truths, were passed down via an oral tradition for thousands of years before being written down.
Societal norms are powerful and often override the legislative provisions in real life situations. Since time immemorial marriage has been the greatest and most important of all institutions in human society. It has always existed in one form or another in every culture, ensuring social sanction to a physical union between man and woman and laying the foundation for building up of the family — the basic unit of society.
The Hindus have idealized marriage in a big way. In the patriarchal society of Rig Vedic Hindus, marriage was considered as a sacramental union, and this continued to be so during the entire period.
In the Shastric Hindu law,[ 2 ] marriage has been regarded as one of the essential sanakaras sacrament for every Hindu. Every Hindu must marry. The institution of marriage is considered sacred even by those who view it as a civil contract. Man is only half, not complete until he marries. Manu declared that mutual fidelity between husband and wife was the highest dharma. According to Mahabharata, by cherishing the woman one virtually cherishes the Goddess of prosperity herself.
She is the source of Dharma, Artha, Kamaand Moksha. The husband is known as bharthi. He is supposed to support his wife. He is also known as pati because he is supposed to support her. The sacramental aspect of marriage under Hindu law has three characteristics: 1 That it is a sacrament union, which means that marriage is not to gratify one's physical needs; but is primarily meant for the performance of religious and spiritual duties; 2 a sacramental union implies that a marriage once entered cannot be dissolved on any ground whatsoever; and 3 a sacramental union also means that it is a union of soul, body and mind.
It is a union not only for this life, but for all lives to come. The union is not only for this world, but also for other worlds. Performance of certain Sastric ceremonies, which have been laid down in detail in Griha Sutras, are necessary for a Hindu marriage. Marriage has been an important social institution. It is the basis for the family. The functions of marriage include regulation of sexual behavior, reproduction, nurturance, protection of children, socialization, consumption, and passing on of the race.
Hindu marriage is regarded as a means to establish a relationship between two families. Free intermixing between two sexes is a taboo. Thus most marriages are arranged by parents or relatives, even in the educated class.
For most people in India, marriage is a one-time event in life, which sanctified and glorified with much social approval.
Marriage is a social necessity; marrying children is the primary responsibility of parents in India. Daughters should be married as soon they become young in early twenties and sons married as soon as they start earning.
Married couples are accorded respect in the community. Non-solemnization of marriage is a social stigma. Social values, customs, traditions and even legislation have attempted to ensure stability of marriage.
The goal of marriage in Hinduism is to foster, not self-interest, but self-restraint and love for the entire family, which keeps the family united and prevents its breakdown. India is largely a patriarchal society. The traditional dyad is the husband with high masculinity and the wife with high femininity. A recent study by Issac and Shah[ 3 ] reported a positive link between androgyny and marital adjustment, and a trend for couples to move toward gender-neutral dyads.
Dowry is a custom in Hindu marriage since times immemorial. These two aspects got entangled and in due course assumed the frightening name of dowry.
For obtaining dowry compulsion, coercion and occasionally force had to be exercised. Ultimately most marriages became a bargain. Over the years dowry has turned into a widespread social evil. Surprisingly, it has spread to other communities, which were traditionally non-dowry receiving communities. Demand for dowry has resulted in cruelty, domestic violence, and death by homicide or suicide.
The prescription of marriage is more stringent for women. Women must get married. After marriage, her husband's home is her home. In India, marriage and family dominate the life of women. After marriage, husband and relatives control all outside relationships. No wonder non-solemnization of marriage of young daughters, separation or divorce is very stressful not only for the woman, but for the entire family.
Marriage brings security and dignity to Indian women. Unmarried status in India is stigma especially for females. The sociologist Susan Wadley after examining the identity of women in folklore, myths, and legends rooted in history, observed that the Indian woman is constantly made to adopt contradictory roles — the nurturing roles as daughters, mothers, wives, and as daughter-in-laws, and the stereotyped role of a weak and helpless woman.
The latter is fostered to ensure complete dependence on the male sex. Consequently, the constant movement from strength to passivity leads to enormous stress placing the woman's mental health under constant threat.
Sati was prevalent in Ancient India. Ramasamy Periyar paved the way for social reform. In India, the first movement of marital rights of women centered on three major problems, child marriage, enforced widowhood, and property rights of women.
The Dowry Prohibition Act[ 7 ] was enacted to curb the dowry menace. The law was found to fail to stall this evil. Dowry Death B [ 8 ] was later enacted. Where the death of the woman occurred in unnatural circumstances within 7 years of marriage and it is shown that she was subjected to cruelty or harassment by her husband or his relatives in connection with any demand for dowry, it would be presumed to be a dowry death, deemed to be caused by the husband or his relatives.
Marriage is the greatest event in an individual's life and brings with it many responsibilities. Mental disorders can either result in marital discord or may be caused by marital disharmony. In predisposed individuals, marriage can cause mental-health problems. Greater distress is seen in among married women compared to married men and greater distress in single women as compared to single men. The ever married suffered more than those who were never married. This causes misery and stigma and further complicates their problems by making them more susceptible to development or exacerbation of psychiatric disorders after marriage.
Batra and Gautam[ 12 ] found a high prevalence of neurotic disorders among divorce-seeking couples. The neurotic problems encountered were either antecedents or consequences of marital disharmony. In a prospective study of subjects with obsessive-compulsive disorder being married significantly increased the probability of partial remission. There is research evidence to suggest that for men, marriage confers protection against depression, while it appears to be associated with higher rates of depression in women.
There is some evidence that within marriage, the traditional role of the female is limiting, restricting and even boring, which may lead to depression.
Studies in China and India report that single individuals are not more vulnerable to suicide than their married counterparts. In countries like India, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka, where arranged marriages are common, the social and familial pressure on a woman to stay married even in abusive relationships appears to be one of the factors that increases the risk of suicide in women.
When dowry expectations are not met, young brides can be harassed to the point where they are driven to suicide. Alcohol use in India on social occasions has a long-history. Social approval of alcohol use has generally been for men. Thus, rates for alcohol use are much lower in women. Alcohol intake by spouse results in marital problems. The divorce rate among heavy drinkers is high and the wives of such men are likely to be anxious, depressed and socially isolated.
Besides, women admitted with self-poisoning blame the drinking habit of the husband. The WHO data, in which confounding factors such as, age, pre-morbid personality traits, and family history were controlled, married men experienced significant delay years in the onset of psychotic symptoms compared with single men. The extensive review of gender differences in the epidemiology of schizophrenia has been reviewed by Picinelle and Homen.Hinduism - World's Oldest Religion Explained - Origins, Beliefs, Facts
The 5-year follow-up study[ 21 ] of patients attending a teaching hospital, reported a better clinical and social outcome for women. The better outcome could be because it was an out-patient sample with lesser degree of impairments. At the end of 10 years, however, there were no significant difference in the outcome. A year follow-up study of a cohort of 76, first episode patients with schizophrenia,[ 23 ] found that marital outcome in Indian Patients as good with no gender difference.
Being married before the onset of illness, presence of children, a shorter duration of illness at inclusion and the presence of auditory hallucinations at intake were all associated with a good marital outcome.
Being unemployed, experiencing a drop in socioeconomic level and the presence of flat affect and self-neglect for 10 years were all associated a poor marital outcome. A greater number of female patients were in the category of patients who had been untreated for a long-time. The main reason attributed for these findings was the low-priority is given to the mental-health of women compared to men.
Hinduism views on dating
The fact that women generally are presented at a later age with schizophrenia raises issues about the losses these women sustain with regard to established relationships, careers and children. All except eight lived with their parents. Twenty children were taken care of by the patients themselves or their parents. But as you said we live in kali.
What is your alternative? Your dating was a mistake. But its been done. So next option is to see his caste and varna. If both are same ask him to wait till your parents talk to his and dont meet him before marriage. If he belongs to a different caste in the same varna,it gets tough. But this has become normal these days,caste isnt in vedas but only varnas. So within a varna,mixing is vedic.
So go ahead.
But this isnt ideal and dont let your children make the smae mistake. BUt when varna is different your marriage falls into kandharva marriage category. It isnt the ideal method,but an accepted method.
It doesnt have any caste or varna bias to it. Then take your own decision based on the boy's character,family etc. Vedas dont prevent it,but say it isnt ideal. Krishna says in geetha "Mixture of varnas is akin to Vedas too are harsh on such marriages. But they accept those methods,if no other alternative is availaible. They even accept paisasa marriage which is marrying by force. Situations justify actions. But they deserve condemnation. But you wont be punished in later world for that.
You also wont be praised for that. So if possible follow the ladder in which vedas specify marriages to happen. The lower you come down the ladder,condemnation will be there,but you wont be punished. You can decide on which step of the ladder you want to start from. All cards in your sleeve. Hi, thanks for saying I am level headed and making me feel better. You are all a great group of people and you really care about the post. Sorry if I am bugging you all but you are really helping me.
I am very grateful for your advice. Response to "Your dating was a mistake. The boy and I are the same caste. His grandmother on his moms side has the same last name as I do. I can not wait to meet him until marriage because he gives me rides home from school. We go to school together and my mom depends on him to drop me home because she is busy working and I don't drive. My mom likes him and his mom likes me to. He is 19, I'm 20 The truth is when his mom heard the word marriage she got angry and say you guys aren't even done with school yet.
Then there was a little family misunderstanding during the summer and his mom told me she hopes our relationship works and we can get married.
The problem is my boyfriend now friend thinks im selfish adn that i don't care about him. We dated for a year and I've been telling him i want to be krsna conscious. He is the one who gave me a better version of the gita by the swami and told me to read it and be a better person. I told him I don't want any physical contact and he says he doesn't see how that makes sense because we already hugged and he wants to take our relationship to the next level, a sexual level.
He said he doesn't want to force me to do anything I don't want to do. I told him no. He tells me if I want to be with him, love him, care for him, marry him I should just do it and risk it even though its not guaranteed that we will get married.
He says I have doubts and that's why I won't do it. He says if we have no physical contact we are friends and he might date other girls and tell me or not tell me or he might not and ask me to marry him after school ends. He says he is krsna conscious. I don't know if the way I'm deciding to be krsna conscious is selfish and if I am going about the wrong way in something. Then he said "yes you are being selfish, no you're not, you're right, whatever you want, it was always up to you.
Call it what you want " meaning krsna conscious or taking the right path. He's a very good friend and he helped me out a lot with my family, life, school. I think he is viewing me as selfish because he always helps me.
He said he helps people and gets blessings. He doesn't mind giving me rides home and he wants to be my friend. What can I do? He should respect your choice not to have any physical contact.
And because he's not getting what he wants from you, ie sex, he's going to look for it elsewhere?!? And threatens to not marry you. Do you really want to marry this guy? Because he helped you out alot he expects you to give up yourself to him in return?
Great guy. Krsna conscious means you have only Krsna on your mind. He's not Krsna conscious. I dont see how this makes you selfish being moral and Dharmic, it he who sounds selfish to me, he is making unnecessary demands to you. What you do now is up to you, it is your life but do not give in to any blackmail from your boyfriend that is not love.
Hi, I am new to the chat. I am 20 year old college student in Florida. What is Lord Krishna's/Hinduism's view on dating and relationships. Even as singles' attitudes on dating change, Hindu tradition still holds sway through mixers, matrimony websites and matchmakers. To understand the social and cultural life of the Hindus and their view on women, one must understand Hinduism. Hinduism is for the world and there is no.
If he is of same caste then there shall not be any problem in marriage. Go ahead. Even you meeting him is okay. But going beyond that,even to touch his hand is a sin,there wont be any worse sin you can commit to yourself in life,even though your marriage is fixed tomorrow. His longings to touch are normal. Most men are like that. Its girls who will suffer and cry in end. If he says He will date other girls that's blackmail.
And if a boy has such guts to talk to his lover,then imagine how he will behave after marriage? Are you going to be his slave from now itself? Chastity is the virtue given to hindu women. That seperates us from all other religions. Learn from the plight of mother kunthi who suffered a whole life for mistake she comitted in youth.
The essay presents an analysis of trends in Hindu socieity towards There can be conflicts with regards to not only opinions and interpretations, but also facts, .. should not see each other until their fixed marriage, dating was unheard of. That said, there is a long, long history of Hindu sex beliefs, dating back centuries. Whether or not modern Hindus still follow these beliefs is a different story. Dating actually is simply going somewhere with someone you find attractive or Answered Sep 30, · Author has k answers and k answer views.
Meet him,talk,no problem. But let not even his finger touch your hand. Men will go to any extent to blackmail girls. Then they will say "You are bad charactered girl. Why did you allow me to touch you? How many have you allowed so far? True love waits,true love tolerates,true love never blackmails,true love knows and expects nothing except love. True love will live without physical involvement for whole life.
If he blackmails you once more saying he will date others,you tell him "good riddance" and dont bother again. In fact I hate giving advices to others on love,since that concept itself is an anathema to hindu culture. You only love your wife and husband and children here.
India is the only country where men and women marry as virgins. Do you want to belong to that tradition or to the western tradition? Western love is dog's love,since only dogs dont have any place or time for love. Or ask your BF to talk to his parents and get married in a week,if he's so mad on you.
Dont forget to inform us on your marriage.
Hindu marriage joins two individuals for life, so that they can pursue dharma ( duty), artha In recent years, with the onset of dating culture in India, arranged marriages have seen a marginal . There are both conservative and liberal views about homosexuality and same-sex marriages in Hinduism with Hindu priests having. Hinduism view of dating, marriage, and divorce. In Hindu culture, there is not dating, they have arranged marriages. The man is introduced to. As for the name itself, 'Hindu' is a word first used by Persians, dating back to the 6th century BCE, to describe the people living beyond the.
Re: "His longings to touch are normal. You are all right. He does treat me badly and I thought his bad temper was his flaw that I had to accept just like how I have flaws. His mom told me one day I'll get smart and walk away. I'm getting smarter. Now this is the problem how does a girl stop suffering and crying?
Since I met this guy I've been crying and suffering. I pray to Lord Krishna for it to stop but I still cry and it's affecting my schoolwork. Thank you all so much, you are really helping me. Sorry if I keep bugging you, please tell me if I should stop posting.
I thought you must be in atleast college. Throw away that guy. Its stupid to have such a moron as BF. In recent years, with the onset of dating culture in India, arranged marriages have seen a marginal decrease, with prospective brides and grooms preferring to choose a spouse on their own and not necessarily only the one whom their parents find agreeable; this has been more pronounced in urban and suburban areas than rural regions. According to Hinduism there are eight different types of marriages.
Not all have religious sanction. Wedding ceremonies can be expensive, and costs are typically borne by the parents. It is not uncommon for middle-or upper-class weddings to have a guest list of over people. Often, a live instrumental band plays. Vedic rituals are performed and the family and friends then bless the couple. Food is served to all the invitees with lots of delicacies. The wedding celebrations can take up to one week depending on the practice in different parts of India.
Historically the vedic marriage was but one of the few different types of Hindu marriage customs. Love marriage was also seen in historical Hindu literature and has been variously described by many names, such as Gandharva vivaha. In certain poor vaishnav communities there is still a custom called kanthi-badal which is an exchange of bead-garlands as a very simplified form of ritual in solitude in front of an idol of Krishna, considered a form of acceptable love marriage.
Elopement has also been described in old Hindu literature. Lord Krishna himself eloped with Rukmini on a horse chariot. It is written that Rukmini's father was going to marry her to Shishupal, against her wishes. Rukimini sent a letter to Krishna informing of a place and time to pick her up. The married Hindu women in different parts of India follow different customs.
Hinduism and Premarital Relationships
Mostly sindoormangalsutra and bangles are considered as signs of a married woman. In some places, in especially Eastern Indiainstead of mangalsutra they put only vermilion on the hair parting, wear a pair of conch bangles shankhared bangles pala and an iron bangle on the left hand loha while their husband is alive. In southern Indiaa married woman may wear a necklace with a distinctive pendant called a thali and silver toe-rings. Both are put on her by the husband during the wedding ceremony.
The pendant on the thali is custom-made and its design is different from family to family. Apart from this, the married woman also wears a red vermilion sindhoor dot on her forehead called kumkum and whenever possible flowers in her hair and bangles.
In medieval times a married woman used to be encouraged to give up all of these when her husband died. This is no longer the practice in many progressive communities any more.
2 thoughts on “Hinduism view of dating, marriage, and divorce by Kallie Goodman on Prezi”
I congratulate, it seems magnificent idea to me is